Did An Iowa Man Just Set A NSFW Record?

There's a story circulating on social media about a Grinnell, Iowa man with an exceptionally large, um, package. United News reported that a 28-year-old, who was only referred to as "Brad" to protect his identity, was present at a measurement ceremony to see exactly how long his situation down south is. According to the site, Brad measured in at 19.1 inches, breaking the previously set 18.9-inch record.

According to the site, Brad had this to say about his achievement:

"I am just thrilled about this, as you can imagine." 

-Big Boy Brad

Here's the thing though- you probably shouldn't trust a website named "United News." While the site doesn't give an outright disclaimer that it's fake news or satire, I had never heard of it before today and the site looks fairly suspect overall. Plus, there's this debunking by Lead Stories that confirms what we pretty much already knew- Big Boy Brad is about as real as Santa Claus.

According to the site, this same story has been circulated many times, using different men's names and towns that all supposedly broke the record by the same amount.

There are so many bad puns that I could come up with for this silly story, but I really don't want to cross the line into total inappropriateness. All you need to know is that men of the Quad Cities should not feel threatened by Brad, since he clearly does not exist.