The 10 Commandments of Taco Pizza
The taco pizza originated in the Quad Cities, and there are some golden rules that must never be broken.
Taco pizza. Not quite a taco, for sure not a conventional pizza, but two of our favorite things morphed together in a goodness that started in the Quad Cities. While we put it on the map, there are also things that must happen to fully enjoy the level of god-fearing goodness that is the taco pizza.
1. Thou shalt eat it with taco sauce. There is no other way to consume such pious pie-tastic-ness.
2. Thou shalt not use ranch dressing. I don’t care who you are. It’s sacrilege with this pizza. Don’t do it.
3. Thou shalt try to keep as many tortilla chips on the slice of pizza as you can while taking your slice. It’s an art form to do this, really. You will be blessed and mightily rewarded through this accomplishment.
4. Thou shalt not defile it by adding beans, refried or otherwise, to it. Trust me on this one.
5. Thou shalt not ‘try a bite’ of your neighbor’s taco pizza. It falls apart otherwise. Get your own piece and enjoy the sanctity of
6. Thou must wash it down with an ice cold beverage, preferably adult. That’s how this experience rolls.
7. Thou shalt consume all of the contents that fall off or pile it immediately onto another piece of taco pizza.
8. Thou shalt never, ever, leave the leftovers on the counter to go bad and be wasted, else the messianic madness shine down from above and haunt your soul and deny you taco pizza for the rest of your wasteful, taco-pizza-forsaken life.
9. Thou shalt not be confused and consume only on ‘Taco Tuesday.’ This is not merely a taco. It’s also a beloved pizza. The two have become one in this holy matrimony in a sanctified pie which shall be consumed, mostly on the sabbath, but other days are cool. Like every day.
10. Thou shall not be fooled by imposters. Sure, the BLT can try to look like a taco pizza but it is in fact, the devil. It can never be a taco pizza. The taco pizza is an original and all others who try, be damned.