Wes Will Live Forever!

This may seem weird, but someday I won't be here. When that day happens I want a party. I want my wake at a bar and me laying in my KISS coffin and a killer jukebox playing tunes. On my way to my new home, I wanna pull up to the U2 song "Where the Streets Have No Names." Carried out to Shinedowns "Second Chance" and put in to Frank Sinatras "My Way." Before any of this happens I hope to be chasing hotties around the nursing home. But how do you know if you found the right one. Here, for your reading pleasure, are 5 ways you can tell you picked the WRONG nursing home.

To save time after the inevitable, they make residents sleep in caskets.

None of the employees think "Weekend at Bernie's" is hilarious.

On its sign-in sheet, you always see "Death."

The guy who changes your bed pan won't shut up about how he used to be in some band called Ratt.

When you ask where the restroom is, the answer is always "Depends".

See the full list here, and happy hunting for a nursing home boys and girls!