Illinois AND Iowa Drivers Are The Worst In The World

It's my last day and my last article, so I figured I'd leave you with something all of you need to read.

Everyone In The Quad Cities Is Awful At Driving

I've thought this the entire time I've been in the Quad Cities. If you have a driver's license, a car, and call the Quad Cities your home, I can, without a doubt, tell you that you are an awful driver.

You're probably thinking, "What's this guy's problem? He can't be that great of a driver to be calling us out. Also, where are his facts and data?"

Screw your facts and data. You want data and facts? Take a look at the Iowa DOT's and Illinois DOT's stats. Look for Scott County, Rock Island County, and the police departments within them both. Guess who is normally at the top besides Des Moines and Chicago?

The only fact you need to drive is the Quad Cities is that everyone with an Illinois license plate and with a Scott County license plate needs their license revoked and needs to retake the driving test. Written AND actual driving test with someone who is strict on handing out licenses.

Why Is The Quad Cities So Bad At Driving?

Who f*$#ing knows?! I have lived in Clinton, Waterloo, Cedar Falls, and Dubuque. All fine drivers. I have driven from Waterloo to Florida and back. The only time I was mad was driving through the Quad Cities.

I've driven in Chicago, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Tampa, Orlando, Minneapolis, and some other major cities with what should be worse traffic and drivers. Nope, the Quad Cities still have the worst.

In front of the Scott County Courthouse this week, I waited for a truck to go across 4th St. (because it was their turn) and after they went, I turned left to go the right way when the nutsack with the big lifted truck behind him also wanted to go. He put his hands up like I was in the wrong.

Also, WHERE ARE EVERYONE'S LICENSE PLATES?! I finally, FINALLY, saw someone pulled over for not having license plates yesterday and said out loud to myself, "About time." Then, ANOTHER CAR APPROACHING THE STOP ALSO DIDN'T HAVE A FRONT LICENSE PLATE. You need both people.

Turn Off Your Damn Brights, Dipsticks

I'm going to start marking down the license plates (if they even have them) of you morons who have your brights on for no reason during the day. Then, I'm going to send you my eye doctor bill for blinding me and everyone else because your stupid self doesn't know that the blue light in your car MEANS THAT THE F*#$ING BRIGHTS ARE ON.

Stop Racing Each Other, You're Not Dale and Dale Jr.

First of all, RIP.

Second of all, racing each other? During the day on a Wednesday? In a company vehicle? I would never, ever call out the fella driving the Extreme Auto Glass van going 60 mph to race a grey Ford Explorer on Middle Road in Bettendorf, but if I did, it wouldn't be very nice of me.

People in vehicles with company logos are now racing civilians. Sure, I've had my fun trying to raced against in the radio station vehicles, but I just let the little crap bag high school kids or the 42-year-old jacked up truck scum bags win because I know you probably need to over compensate for something...

Why am I so fired up about this now? Because I can be, and you deserve to know. Stop driving like an a$$hole, Quad Cities. As your stupid window sticker says, "There's a baby aboard the b*tch."

Thanks.