A Seven Year Old’s Review of ‘Paw Patrol: The Mighty Movie’

Look, I’m a realist: I recognize that no one on the planet cares what I — or any Old for that matter — thinks about Paw Patrol: The Mighty Movie. Nor should they. This is the second film based on the impressively durable TV series (and affiliated merchandising program) about the adventures of a group of talking puppies who drive (or fly) color-coded vehicles in order to help and protect the citizens of Adventure Bay (or, in the movies, Adventure City). This time, the Paw Patrol pups get super powers and become the Mighty Pups. And there you have it. Film critics need not apply.

If anyone is clicking around the interwebs for information on this film, they’re people like me: Parents who have endured years of their kids’ Paw Patrol unshakeable obsession and want to know: Should I pay the outlandish ticket prices to take my child to see The Mighty Movie in the theater? Will my kid like it? Is it too scary? Do I need to make sure I’m at the theater early so I don’t miss the Dora the Explorer short that’s playing before the movie? And so on.

But again, my opinion here is irrelevant. (If you really must know here it is: This Paw Patrol movie is just as painless, and just as shameless in its attempts to sell new Paw Patrol toys to kids, as the last one.) The person you really want to hear from about The Mighty Movie is a Paw Patrol fan like my seven-year-old daughter Riley. She’s been watching the show for years and has a bin full of Paw Patrol pups and vehicles in her toy room.

Below you will find the unabridged transcript of our conversation about Paw Patrol: The Mighty Movie on our subway ride home from the press screening, right down to the parts where she got distracted by what was going on outside the train window. It is about as pure and honest — and informed! — an opinion on this motion picture as you will find.

So what did you think of the movie?

Great.

It was great?

Yeah.

Which was better, the first one or this one?

This one.

Why was this one better?

Because Skye was really cool. And she has three powers: She can fly, like, really fast, she could float — it wasn’t really flying to me, it was more like floating because there wasn’t really gravity, so I would say that’s floating. And lifting up really heavy things. And destroying meteors.

Was she your favorite in the movie?

Yeah.

READ MORE: 10 TV Cliffhangers That Were Never Resolved

What did you think the message of the movie was?

That even if you’re small you can make a big difference. Like, kids. They might be small at first. Everybody is. But you can grow really quick and become someone who does the right thing.

That’s great. Did you have any favorite moments in the movie?

When there was a flashback to when Skye was a little puppy. [A spoiler-related discussion follows.]

The first movie had a lot more Chase. This movie did not. Were you okay with that?

Yeah. Chase was the star of the last movie. I think there’s going to be more different movies about different pups, to tell their story, kind of.

Is it upsetting that Everest isn’t in the movie? I know you like Everest.

No. I like Liberty. And Liberty was pretty cool in the movie.

What did you think of her power?

Yeah, how couldn’t I have guessed that? Because she’s a hot dog pup!

That’s right. Do you know the name of that kind of dog that Liberty is?

Uhhhh...

A dachshund. That’s the kind of dog.

She was so fun.

Oh, they showed that Dora the Explorer cartoon before the movie. What did you think of that?

Uh, it was okay.

Just okay?

Yeah. It seemed more for little little kids. Paw Patrol is more for kids.

So you think this Paw Patrol movie one was better than the first one?

Yeah.

If you could only watch one Paw Patrol movie right now, which would you pick?

Probably this one. Because there were the crystals, and I just liked it a lot.

What did you think of the villain in this one? The mad scientist character?

She said she wasn’t mad, Dad!

Okay, but she kind of was anyway. Did you like her as the villain? Or do you still prefer Mayor Humdinger?

She was really funny. She was a good villain, but Humdinger is funnier.

I hear one little girl near us getting a little upset at one point toward the end. Did you think the movie was too scary?

Nah. It got a little scary, but not too scary.

Let me ask you this: Why is there only the Paw Patrol who are in charge of protecting this entire city? Why don’t they have any policemen or firefighters?

Well, it’s because ... well, there are. The Paw Patrol — when there’s a hero in a town, you don’t really need them.

Oh I see. So there are policemen in Adventure City, we just don’t ever see them in the movie?

Yeah, because we only see the Paw Patrol. They’re the main characters. You always pay attention to the main characters.

What did you think of those three junior Paw Patrol trainees? The new characters they added in this one.

They were so cool. Because they might have been small, but they were part of helping at the end.

Hey, how do the dogs control all their vehicles if they don’t have thumbs? 

Oh, their paws — no, no, so — they push their paws on the pads. They put their paws on the paw pads and they like [motions pushing downward]. You can do that without thumbs.

Oh okay. You don’t need thumbs to fly a plane.

Well, this is ... this is make believe, Dad.

True. That’s a good point.

But their vehicles have paw pads. And puppies have small paws, so they can push and turn. It’s easier for them.

Now let me ask you this: Were there any parts of the movie you didn’t like?

[pause] It was all really great. It was a little sad, the part with Skye as a puppy.

Yeah. But that was definitely supposed to be sad. It was sad on purpose.

Yeah. It was so sweet! But it was sad. I didn’t not like it. But it was sad. [pause] I love the Paw Patrol but the one thing I would change is they should add more girls.

Yeah, there’s just Skye and Liberty. That’s true. Okay, if you could have any of the powers which would you want?

Any power in the movie?

Yeah, sure. Any power.

[Gets distracted as the subway crosses the Manhattan Bridge.] Does Mom go on this train sometimes?

Sometimes.

Ooh, there’s someone on a bike. They’re going fast!

Yeah.

Another train!

Yup, another train. Okay, do you have a decision about your super power?

Not sure. What would you want?

Um, I’d want to fly.

Like Skye?

Yeah. I don’t even need to be super strong like her. I just want to fly around.

Then you would be Skye. Wait: Electricity or super-strength? If you could only pick one.

Super-strength.

Then you would be Skye.

Let me ask you this. Would you go see this movie in the theater again?

Yeah.

What if they made another Paw Patrol movie. You’d still want to see that too?

Of course I would.