These Are The Hottest Names In Iowa & Illinois And I Have Questions

Maybe they're sexy in the nursing home?

Think of the hottest-sounding names you know for both men and women. 'Ashley' sounds like an Instagram model, while 'Kyle' sounds like a guy that lives in the gym.

The Matchmaking Company did a survey of over 2,400 Americans, asking them to rank their states most popular names (according to the Social Security Administration) in terms of ones that they found most attractive.

The Results

For both Illinois and Iowa, the hottest name a woman can have is Charlotte. For men, it's Theodore in Illinois and Oliver in Iowa.

I'm sorry, what? Did they survey people under the age of 70?

But nearly all of the results are old-fashioned names: Evelyn, Amelia, Lucy, and Eleanor were a few popular ones. For men, Henry, William, John, and the interestingly specific Santiago were all popular.

If you don't believe me, here you go:

And for the gents:

I can't hate on the old-fashioned names but I haven't met many Charlottes or Theodores since I've been in Iowa. Maybe they're just in a higher league than me. The vintage, timeless names are coming back into style as far as what people are naming their babies lately.

But common names doesn't always mean hottest. Ezekiel, Waylon, and Elijah all made the list for men. Isla and Nora were some states' hottest names for women. So if your name is never on those little keychains at souvenir shops, it's probably because your name is too hot.