It’s that time of the year again. It always seems to creep up on us and then out of nowhere--- BAM! You have a terrible case of SWAMP ASS.

But what exactly is SWAMP ASS?

Dictionary.com actually has an entry for the term, stating:

Swamp ass involves a sweaty wetness in the butt crack or general nether region that may soak through the underwear, even the pants. Chafing and funky odors are also common symptoms. Beware.

 

Example of an unfortunate victim of Swamp Ass:

But where did the term come from? Dictionary.com says that the words have been used since at least 1995 when an anonymous internet user said to another user “your mother smells like swamp ass” during an argument about hockey.

“Swamp Ass” made its Urban Dictionary debut in 2002:

Swamp ass can occur during periods of intense physical activity. It is a condition where your ass becomes sweaty giving you the feeling that your ass is actually in a swamp.

There’s even a way to measure the amount of swamp ass by utilizing a “Swamp Ass Meter.”

slangdefine.com says the Swamp Ass Meter is:

A substitute for a thermometer temperature. The swamp ass meter goes from the number 1 to 10. It’s the degree in which to measure one's level of swamp ass achieved. Normally measured from 1 being the lowest level to 10 being the maximum.

Example of a Swamp Ass Meter sometimes called a “Swass Meter."

According to healthline.com, our body has two types of sweat glands:

  • eccrine glands, which secrete an odorless mixture of water and salt to cool your skin and lower your body temperature
  • apocrine glands, which produce the smelly substance we usually associate with sweating

Your rear end only contains eccrine glands. So, while SWAMP ASS might be visible through your pants, at least it doesn’t have an odor.

However, if your case of Swamp Ass is severe, it can result in an accumulation of bacteria and germs, increasing your risk of developing infections or rashes.

In addition to dealing with Swamp Ass, some also have been known to suffer from Swits – Sweaty armpits.

Helpful Hints to Combat Swamp Ass:

*Don’t wear leather pants on hot days.
*Wear dark pants to hide your Swamp Ass.
*Order Gold Bond Powder by the Case.
*Move to Antarctica.
*Sit naked in your office (at your own risk)
*Change your underwear when it gets damp.
*Spill water on your pants and co-workers will simply think you're clumsy
*If someone confronts you about changing your underwear, tell them you urinated in your pants from drinking too much coffee. This will lead them astray from your nauseous case of Swamp Ass.
*Wear Sweat Bands on your ankles in case it runs down your leg. You don’t want anyone to slip and injure themselves because of your Swamp Ass.
In 2011, actor Nathan Fillion issued a PSA about the dangers of developing swamp ass.

 

 

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