10 Common & Subtle Red Flags Iowans Tend To Ignore In A Partner

For a lot of us, red is our favorite color.

The dynamic of a toxic relationship or problematic partner seems so much more obvious to the friends and family who are on the outside looking in. Often I've asked my friends "why are you even staying with him/her?" But it's a totally different mindset if you're in the relationship.

We've all ignored red flags at some point, let's be very honest here.

Hindsight is always 50/50 but let's look at some of the subtle yet common red flags you might need to be alerted for in your partner, according to Self.

10. Your friends & family don't want to be around them

Literally one of the most obvious things. If a whole crew of your friends and your family, or whoever knows you well, does not want anything to do with them, there's a reason. No matter what excuse your partner comes up with.

9. You're conceding, not compromising

Arguments happen in any relationship, but according to PsychCentral, healthy relationships have give-and-take from both parties. If you find yourself always apologizing, you're probably being gaslit.

8. They're rude to people in the service industry

For years, this is a huge thing I watch for on first dates. How someone treats other people says a lot more about them than how they treat you on a date. That whole sense of entitlement has no place in a relationship and can be a sign of a narcissist.

7. They describe all of their exes as "crazy"

Even though some exes are legit "crazy" and some people are just unlucky in love, if they call every single one of their exes "crazy", maybe they're the common denominator and problem.

6. They don't actually listen to you

Why do they seem to forget every detail you tell them? They forget to get eggs at the supermarket, also your dog's birthday, and you can bet they don't remember anything about the weekend trip with friends you told them about.

5. You're doing less of what you enjoy

Did you used to love baking? Photography? Painting? Singing? And now you're just not doing any of it anymore? It could be part of a control tactic by a toxic S.O. to isolate you.

4. They're not there when you're having hard times

Your partner, if they care about you, should be there for you when you're going through difficult or stressful times, according to Self. It doesn't have to be an expensive or grand gesture, but they should at least be making the effort to be there for you somehow.

3. They don't have opinions

If your partner just constantly agrees with everything you say and you're outlook on topics, consider it a red flag. That could be a manipulation tactic. A psychologist told Best Life this could also be because they don't want to reveal anything about themselves that might make you two incompatible.

2. They always talk down about other people

Like I said: what someone says about someone else says a lot more about them than it does the other person. When you make negativity a habit in general, it's honestly kind of repulsive.

1. They're flaky

They don't seem to follow through with plans or they come up with excuses about why they can't commit to a relationship right now. Experts say breaking your trust in a small way like constantly not holding up their end of plans can be a sign that they'll break your trust in bigger ways down the road.

I've seen most of these in partners, so good luck dating.